The 5 Biggest Lies About Divorce (and What You Actually Need to Know)
- Beth Carrier
- Jul 18
- 2 min read
When you’re facing divorce, everyone seems to have an opinion — your well-meaning friends, your neighbor, even your cousin’s best friend who went through it “just last year.”
And while they probably mean well, a lot of the advice out there is incomplete — or just plain wrong.
So let’s cut through the noise and talk about the 5 biggest lies people tell you about divorce — and what you really need to know instead.
Lie #1: The Biggest Lies About Divorce — Winning is the Goal
This might be the biggest myth of all. Divorce isn’t about winning or losing — it’s about finding a fair, workable path forward.
When you treat divorce like a battle, everyone pays the price: financially, emotionally, and especially your kids.
What you need to know: Mediation helps you avoid turning your family into collateral damage. Instead of fighting for “everything,” you work toward agreements that actually work for everyone.
Lie #2: The Courts Will Make Sure Everything Is Fair
While judges and courts absolutely do their best to follow the law and act fairly, they can only make decisions based on the information presented to them — and within the limits of the law.
What you need to know: Mediation gives you more flexibility and control. You and your spouse know your family best, and mediation allows you to craft agreements that fit your unique needs — often more creatively than the court could.
Lie #3: You Have to Hire a Lawyer and Go to Court
While many people do choose to hire an attorney — and there are situations where that’s the right call — it’s not your only option.
What you need to know: Mediation is another path forward. It’s faster, less expensive, and less stressful — and you can still consult with an attorney at any point for advice and guidance if you’d like. Many attorneys recommend mediation to their clients!
Lie #4: Divorce Will Ruin Your Kids’ Lives
Divorce is hard on kids — no sugarcoating that. But what really hurts kids isn’t the divorce itself — it’s the ongoing conflict.
What you need to know: Mediation helps keep things civil and puts your kids’ needs front and center, so you can co-parent in a healthy way moving forward.
Lie #5: You Have to Have It All Figured Out Before You Start
Not true at all. Nobody has all the answers at the beginning — and that’s okay.
What you need to know: You just need to take the first step. A good mediator will guide you through each topic, help you identify what matters most, and keep you from getting overwhelmed.
Bottom line?
Don’t believe everything you hear. Divorce doesn’t have to destroy your finances, your family, or your peace of mind — and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
When you’re ready, I’m here to help you navigate it with dignity, clarity, and confidence.
