Don’t Ruin Thanksgiving: How to Have an Amicable Divorce During the Holidays
- Beth Carrier
- Nov 10
- 3 min read
If you’ve ever found yourself passing the mashed potatoes and forcing a smile — while feeling nothing but distance, tension, or exhaustion between you and your spouse — you’re not alone.The holidays have a way of shining a bright, unforgiving light on the cracks we’ve been ignoring all year.
It’s not “holiday stress.”It’s the silent divorce — the breakup that has already started in the heart, even if the paperwork hasn’t.
And this time of year can make that distance feel unbearable.
Are You Sitting Next to Someone You’ve Already Left?
You know the signs:
Conversations feel like small talk with a stranger
Every shared task feels heavier than it should
You’re coexisting — not connecting
You’re more relieved when they leave the room than when they enter it
You look at the calendar and think:
If we can just get through Thanksgiving…
If we can just get through Christmas…
If we can just make it to January…
But “just getting through it” isn’t peace.It’s survival.
And survival is not a sustainable way to live — for you, your spouse, or your children.
Why the Holidays Make Everything Feel Heavier
The holidays force families into:
Shared time
Shared expectations
Shared rooms full of relatives silently assessing your marriage
Shared memories that don’t feel like yours anymore
The pressure to perform happiness is enormous.
And when love has faded, resentment has grown, or the relationship has simply run its natural course — pretending makes everything worse.
Because here’s the truth few people say out loud:
Staying in an unhappy marriage “for the holidays” doesn’t protect your kids.
It teaches them to hide pain to keep others comfortable.
Kids know.
They always know.
You Don’t Have to “Blow Up” the Family to Make a Change
If the only version of divorce you’ve ever seen is the tv-drama-lawyered-up-war-in-court version, it makes sense that you’d stay silent and stuck.
But that is not the only way.
Amicable divorce during the holidays is real.
It is possible.
And it often feels like relief.
It means:
No choosing sides
No “winner” and “loser”
No financial devastation
Instead, it looks like:
Open conversation
Collaborative decisions
Preserving respect
Protecting the kids
You can separate without destroying each other.
You can end a marriage without ending your family.
How Amicable Divorce Keeps the Holidays Peaceful for Your Kids
Children don’t need parents who stay together at any cost.
They need parents who:
Are emotionally healthy
Can communicate without hostility
Respect one another enough to co-parent well
Choosing amicable divorce is choosing:
Stability over chaos
Cooperation over bitterness
A long-term parenting partnership over a short-term fight
A timeline measured in weeks or months, not years
Your children will remember how you handled this — not just that it happened.
Not to mention — it’s typically far less expensive and far faster than hiring separate attorneys and preparing for court.
So Here’s Your Permission Slip:
If you’re done silently surviving your marriage, you don’t need to wait until January.
You don’t have to ruin Thanksgiving.
You don’t have to blow up the family.
You don’t have to fight your way out.
There is a calmer, clearer, more respectful way.
Ready to Talk About What a Peaceful Divorce Could Look Like?
If you’re considering separation and looking for a peaceful way forward, I can help.
PivotPoint Resolutions™ specializes in amicable divorce mediation — guiding couples through this process privately, respectfully, and without attorneys.
No court.
No fighting.
No winners and losers.
Just clarity, structure, and a path forward.
Book a free consultation and let’s talk about what peace could look like — even during the holidays.
