Divorce After the Kids Leave for College: What Empty Nesters Need to Know
- Beth Carrier
- Aug 25
- 3 min read
For many couples, raising children becomes the center of family life. The focus is on school schedules, sports practices, and keeping the household running. But once the kids are grown and head off to college, the house gets quiet—and sometimes, so does the marriage.
It’s not uncommon for couples to “hang on until the kids leave,” only to realize afterward that they want different futures. In fact, studies show that divorce among adults over 50—often called gray divorce—has more than doubled since the 1990s, and a notable share of divorces occur after children leave home.
When the daily structure of parenting is gone, cracks that were easy to ignore become harder to avoid. Some couples discover they’ve grown apart or simply don’t share the same vision for the years ahead. Others feel lonelier once the busyness of raising children has settled.
Financial independence and longer life expectancy also play a role. Many people are no longer willing to stay in an unhappy marriage “for the sake of appearances.” Instead, they choose a fresh start—one that reflects who they are now.
Divorce After Kids Leave for College: Why It’s Different
Even though your children may not live at home, divorce doesn’t mean you stop co-parenting. You’ll still be making joint decisions about:
College tuition, housing, and other educational costs
Health insurance and medical expenses
Holidays, family gatherings, and traditions
Major financial decisions like selling the family home or dividing retirement accounts
In other words, your role as co-parents evolves. Divorce at this stage is less about custody schedules and more about building a new framework for your family and finances.
Why Mediation Makes Sense
Traditional divorce through attorneys and the court system can be expensive, stressful, and adversarial. The average cost of a litigated divorce for older couples can range from $15,000 to $50,000, with potential to exceed $100,000 in high-conflict or prolonged cases.
Cost-effective: On average, mediation costs a fraction of litigation.
Confidential: Your private matters stay out of the courtroom.
Collaborative: Instead of battling in front of a judge, you sit down with a neutral mediator to create an agreement that works for both of you.
Practical: Agreements reached through mediation often last longer because they’re built by the people who actually have to live with them.
Mediation also gives you the space to discuss more than just dividing assets. You can address financial planning, college contributions, and how you’ll continue to support your children—even as young adults.
Moving Forward with Clarity
Divorce after kids leave for college is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. Mediation allows you to move forward with dignity and fairness, protecting both your finances and your family relationships.
Because even though your children may be grown, they’ll always be watching how you handle change. Choosing mediation shows them that it’s possible to end a marriage with respect, compassion, and collaboration.
If you’re navigating divorce after children leave for college, let’s talk about how mediation can keep the process civil, cost-effective, and focused on what matters most—your family’s future.
