top of page
Search

Want Revenge? Why Divorce Mediation and Revenge Don’t Mix

Divorce is deeply personal, emotional, and—let’s be honest—sometimes infuriating. You might be nursing betrayal, rage, or years of pent-up resentment. And while those feelings are valid, if your primary goal is revenge, then let me gently tell you: Mediation is not for you.


Mediation Isn’t About Winning

Mediation is not a battlefield. There are no trophies, no knockout punches, no dramatic moments where someone storms out and the other side 'wins' everything. Mediation is about creating durable, equitable agreements—not punishing the other person.


So if you're coming in hot, thinking this is your chance to "make them pay," you're likely to walk away disappointed. Mediation requires a mindset shift: from fighting to forward-thinking.


Man and woman facing off angrily, with children blurred in the background, symbolizing high-conflict divorce impacting the whole family.
When divorce becomes a battleground, everyone loses - especially the kids. Mediation offers a way forward without turning your family into collateral damage.

Why Divorce Mediation and Revenge Don’t Belong Together


  1. It’s Neutral, Not Sided. A professional mediator doesn’t take sides. That’s part of the magic—and the frustration—for someone seeking validation or vengeance.

  2. It’s Confidential, Not Public. You won’t get the satisfaction of putting your ex on trial in front of an audience. Mediation is private, focused, and designed to de-escalate—not entertain.

  3. It’s Solution-Oriented, Not Punitive. The goal is to craft agreements that work now and later. That includes parenting plans, property division, and financial support—not punishment.

  4. It Requires Emotional Readiness. Mediation only works when both parties are ready to show up, communicate, and negotiate in good faith. If you're still stuck in the "they'll regret the day they left me" phase, it's worth hitting pause.


That’s why divorce mediation and revenge are fundamentally incompatible. The whole purpose of mediation is to resolve issues efficiently and fairly—not to fuel resentment or escalate conflict.


So, Who Is Mediation For?

  • People who want to move forward with clarity and control

  • Couples who are open to compromise and creative problem-solving

  • Parents who want to shield their children from conflict

  • Parents who want to preserve their future co-parenting relationship for the sake of their children, and themselves

  • Individuals who want to preserve their dignity, their sanity, and their wallet


Mediation isn’t about being the bigger person. It’s about being the wiser one.


Still Angry? That’s Okay.

You don’t have to be over the pain to begin the process. But it helps to acknowledge what you want most: revenge, or resolution?


Because if what you want is freedom from conflict, closure, and the ability to rebuild—then you’re ready. And I’m here to help you every step of the way.



bottom of page